My story starts with the Great Cardinal Climax of 2008 when Saturn, Uranus, and Pluto all ingressed into the cardinal signs, and formed square and/or opposition aspects to one another. This climax ends with the final Square between Uranus and Pluto happening in 2015.
I’m not talking about your horoscope, although I could, I’m talking about Planetary and star alignments and think what you want but let’s just go over something. 2008 to 2015 was supposed to be a significant time period according to the star gazers. The last time a Cardinal Climax had taken place it started in 1931…you know that decade, the great depression, the build up to World War II, the rise of unions and worker rights and the World power shifting from Great Britain to the United States.
Between 1931 and 2008 there were two other Climaxes (not Cardinal though and not as strong) that took place. One was from 1988 to 1993, there was the stock market crash, the rise of machines at lightning speed, fax machines, computers and the internet connecting people from all over the world. The other was during the mid 1960s…you know Vietnam, Race Riots, Peace & Love, assassinations and all sorts of fun.
Now back to my story…
I was just minding my own business waiting to graduate and to get some office job (that no one could ever explain what you would actually do once you had said office job but they said you’d make $40,000 a year after graduating so why not?). I stepped back onto campus the fall of 2008 expecting the same old shit just another year routine. Except that’s not what happened. That year in a drug fueled paranoid brain I watched as Wall Street collapsed, the job market plummeted, bankers getting rich, everyone around me getting uglier, and as the world burned down before my eyes I saw that my generation’s answer was to just dance…I was no better chasing pussy and chasing highs but I knew it would have to come to an end.
I awoke in a cold sweat…
What was I doing in life? I didn’t even know why I was getting the degree I was getting. Well I knew why because that’s what I thought you were supposed to do. Get a degree in business and find the job to pay off the student loans and credit card debt you piled onto yourself in what you called a “good time” at college.
I couldn’t do it though. A cubicle represented a prison in my mind and I found myself lost not knowing what I was going to do. The only answer I had was the answer I always turned to throughout life, writing.
So I set out to be a writer. For four years that meant writing in large flashes of speed induced fevers before crawling back to a job I would hate. All so I could support myself and in turn stop writing till I quit the job for another one.
On and on it went like a lost soul wandering, searching for something…
Along the way I fell in love and I fell hard. I fell so hard that I became someone I wasn’t. I was living a lie. When you are living a lie it’s easy to become depressed, dormant, and unmotivated. I was so drunk in love and lust that I was on the verge of quitting writing for her.
She left and in the process destroyed the man I was. In the end I saw it as the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. Engulfed in the flames I had to make a decision:
Will I come out forever wounded or will I rise through the ashes?
I took a hard look in the mirror at myself and understood I wasn’t the man I wanted to be. I was fat, had a victim mentality, and living with no purpose as I had forgotten my mission.
A man without a mission is a man without purpose
I was not going to come out wounded. I was going to come out stronger, rise through the ashes like the burning phoenix.
In May of 2013 I was a fat and depressed. A loser.
Every man is given a body and a mind and it is up to him what he does to it. For my body I wasn’t going to allow myself be a fat slob anymore. For my mind I wasn’t going to continue wasting my talents in writing waiting for the perfect time.
Two years later as the Cardinal Climax comes to an end I am becoming the man I want to be.
I look better, I feel better and I even wrote the book I had set out to write so many years ago. I’m not free yet but one day I won’t ever have to work for anyone again.
I will be my own boss.
How do I know that? Because I’ve come this far and I’m not quitting. The last seven years have been a long and painful learning process. But I am becoming who I want to be. I want to share with you everything about it. From my ups and downs, what I’ve learned from my mistakes and how you can avoid them and how I started to become who I always wanted to be.
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